Heart Shaped Soap of Doom ZADR
by Invader Skrabb
Summary: Dib is sick on his birthday and Zim decides to pop over while Dib's in the bath. WARNING, FULL OF ZADR CONTENT! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!


Invader Zim ZADR

Dib's POV

With another ragged cough I vomited into the bucket beside my bed, blood draining from my face and causing another sickening churn in my gut.

"Damn fever..." I grumbled, burying my head under the covers again and pressing a pack of ice to my chest in an attempt to cool myself down, but the ice had already melted, "Stupid ice..."

Today was dad's morning off, (he had some work to do in the afternoon, something to do with a robotic kitten and a nuclear power plant) so he had stayed to help me in whatever way he could.

My dad may be a professor, but he is _not_ a doctor.

I sighed and forced myself to sit upright in bed, and then I threw the covers off, welcoming the cold wave of air on my bare skin. I swung my legs out of bed, pulled on a pair of boxers, and stumbled into the bathroom. The bucket was starting to stink.

I vomited again, but this time it was mostly bile, and my dad walked in.

"Are you ok, son?" he asked.

_Do I look ok? _I said in my head.

"No. I think I'm just gonna take a cold bath then go back to bed. You can go to work or something, I'll be fine."

Dad just nodded under that white lab coat, then turned on his heel and walked from the bathroom, "Alright. Bye son. Get well soon."

_Some fifteenth birthday this turned out to be,_ I thought grimly as I began to draw the bath.

Ten minutes later when I was lying in a cold bath, rejoicing as the fever's heat began to die, did my father call me again.

"Son!" he said, and from what I could hear he was walking down the hallway on his way to work, "I'm going now. Also, you're little foreign friend is here to see you!"

I jolted in horror.

_Zim_?

What the hell was he doing in my house?

"What?"

Quickly I jumped out of the bath and threw on a towel before Zim walked into the bathroom, wearing his crummy little disguise.

"Zim, what the hell are—?"

Zim held up his hand to silence me, "Silence, Dib-stink! Zim is here for one reason and one reason only! You shall not interrupt Zim!"

I glared, brushing a long thick lock of hair out of my face, "Zim, I don't care why you're here, but if you don't get out I swear to god I'll pour that bath water on you."

"Silence, water boy." spat the Irken, and I noticed that he was holding something behind his back, "Let Zim speak and Zim will not liquefy your organs!"

I glared and edged closer to the bath, ready to splash water on the alien if he tried anything funny.

Zim had really grown since we first met, he was now taller than me. Over the years I had grown to, but unlike our primary school days, when we fought now it usually ended with blood flying, screaming and purple and green bruises. Almost once a week one of us walked into school with a limp or a sore ribcage.

But still we fought. More than once his spider legs have sliced my gut and even now bright red scars ran along my stomach and chest. Zim ignored them, with his head held high, he started smiling.

But today I did not feel like fighting with the alien, and I was ready this time he wouldn't even be able to touch me, I was covered in water.

Zim took a deep breath, "I, Invader Zim, have become aware that the Dib was once a smeet. And that humans celebrate something called a _birthday, _though I don't understand why being born is an accomplishment. You're little sister told me it was your _birthday_. She's filthy. So I decided to skip school today."

"What?" I cried, wiping the mist from my glasses and putting them back on, "Zim that makes no sense. Why come over here if it's just my birthday?"

Zim's slim arm moved, and from behind his back he held out a small brown package that fit in the palm of his hand. I stared at it for a long moment.

"Zim, is that... is that a _present_?" I asked the Irken in disbelief.

"Indeed it is, Dib-stink." said Zim quietly.

Wait, Zim was speaking _quietly_? He never speaks quietly!

"Take it." He said, moving his palm closer to me in an offering gesture.

I wiped my hand so not to get water on Zim, though I don't know why I cared if he was hurt or not, and took the miniscule square package and secured my towel to myself.

"Eh... happy... _birthday_, Dib." said Zim genuinely, a smile on his green face.

I blinked, still not sure what the hell was going on, and removed the string from the package, then removed the brown paper carefully. I didn't know what I was looking at at first, and then I realised as quickly as I had removed the string.

"Soap." I said, "this is a bar of soap."

"Indeed! Because you are Dib-stink! You are a stinky human, hahaha!" Zim laughed at his own joke, and I examined the red bar of soap strangely.

I realised something else, "It's shaped like a heart..."

"Indeed," Zim said normally, and I met his fake blue eyes, and realised he was smiling strangely.

"Zim, why did you come here in the first place?"

"To give you this birthday present, of course!"

"I know, but like, Zim, you hate me. You've hated me since primary school."

And then, before I had even fully finished the last word, Zim's lips were pressing against mine. I fell into him and our chests pressed together, and I could feel his hearts beat in his chest.

Our mouths opened, and I could feel his insect like tongue inside my mouth, it felt odd but also... really good.

We pulled away from each other and stared into each others eyes.

"Zim..." I whispered.

Zim just smiled at me, and moved in to kiss me again

I didn't complain.


End file.
